PSA for Creepy Gross Bugs

Bugs and I have an interesting relationship. I have no problem with bugs in general and for the most part leave them alone or remove them to the outside where they can live and be free. I do though take offense to bugs that touch me. The amount of offense is completely relative to the size and over all creepiness of the bug. Ants are very low on the offensiveness scale where as anything larger than a quarter or with more than 8 legs will probably end up crushed.

With that in mind I would like to share a story with the world.

Two weeks ago my heroic boyfriend and I were attending a destination wedding in Greece. I highly recommend to everyone that you visit the Greek islands sometime during the span of your life. I was looking for good descriptors for my feelings on the situation and settled on:



And that one is just one of literally hundreds of pictures and doesn't even have the landscape in it!

Well on the last morning of our stay I woke up at 4 AM. This is odd since I still had half an hour before my alarm was to bludgeon me into showering and getting dressed to fly away. My arm hurt. It hurt a lot. It hurt like someone had the ink cartridge of a cheap ballpoint pen that had been dipped (and magically mantained its shape) in hydrocloric acid and was pressing it into either my radius or ulna. I can't ever remember which is which.

So I went into the bathroom to look at my arm. It looked fine. In my tired state I went back and looked at where I had been sleeping. Nothing seemed out of place. Except my arm really hurt. Sigh. Back into the bathroom. I pinch the place on my arm that hurts. Two small blood spots form. Puncture wounds. OH. MY. GOD. SOMETHING IS IN THE BED.

I hurry back to the bed. My boyfriend has rolled to my side of the bed. Not Good.

"Sweetheart, I need you to get up"

"Huh?"

"Sweetheart something has bit or stung me and I need to find it and my arm really hurts."

He gets up and stands there as I proceed to rip the bed apart. I throw back the blanket. Nothing. Throw my pillow. Nothing. Pull back the sheet. Nothing. As I am attempting to look behind the headboard my boyfriend says,

"Maybe you are going crazy... oh wait, no!"

At which point I look back just in time to see an enormous centipede crawl out of my pillow case. I left the room and told my boyfriend to kill it. He is my hero by the way. The only pictures I have of all of this are what remained of that monster.



The beer can is there for size reference. I'm estimating about six inches long and over half an inch wide. It was not a good way to start the day to say the least. My boyfriend had to beat it repeatedly until it fell off the bed since the bed was not soft enough for the beating to do any real damage and then once it was on the floor managed to avenge my poor arm.

And the moral of the story direct from my boyfriend's telling of the story, "Screw with my boyfriend and get crushed."

This is a warning to all large and nasty bugs out there. Beware.