Gather 'Round Kiddos!

This one time I made a bunch of bad decisions and somehow still survived the night. Also I was sober.

So I decided to go on a random internet date with a guy who seemed fairly nice. He picked me up and we were going to go somewhere by his place. I told my roommates where I was going so I wouldn't just disappear off the face of the earth.

When we got down to his neighborhood he asked if he could just cook me dinner instead. I should have said no. However in a moment of stupidity I agreed and went up to his high rise apartment. He made something boring. I don't remember what but it was similar to the quality of something that may have come out of the microwave. It was not good. He then proceeded to say he was tired, and that I should leave, and oh by the way could I get myself home? I should have said no. I had however seen the train station mere feet away and thus thought it would not be an issue.

I was wrong.

I walked to said train station. It was for the wrong train. I figured that the right one could not be THAT far away and started walking.

About 15 minutes later, with no train in sight, I started to get worried. It became very clear that I had wandered into a not very nice part of town. To boot, if you have somehow missed my pictures, I am the most unintimidating little white boy. Ever. Greeeaaaat.

Then the police sirens started. I was getting worried. I called my best friend to calm my nerves. Why I did not get into a taxi I do not know. As I began talking to my best friend he also explained that he was in a similar situation. I am not sure why he was walking through a rough neighborhood in the middle of the night as well but he was. We decided it was safer to be alert and get off our phones.

A little while later I found a street with a bus stop I recognized. I began waiting for the bus. A very tall and scary looking man walked up. I was terrified. He was also waiting for the bus. He asked me about the bus. I answered quickly and shortly that I was walking to the train and giving up on the bus. He was following me.

After about 20 minutes I decided that is this man was going to jump me, then he probably would have already. Good. Safe. We finally reached the train.

At this point I should probably talk about karma. I don't believe in much of the supernatural. HOWEVER I do feel that when you have been given a gift you should repay the world for it. I survived this night and was now owing.

I met a man on the train who said he was going to visit his child aged daughter for the first time. He played out this huge sob story that was probably fake and asked me for money. I gave him $20. I don't know if I was just scared shitless or what but I certainly paid my karmic debt back that night.

To complete my night I got home and one of my roommates was clearly tripping. I came in and he was in the bathroom, with the light on, staring at himself in the mirror. This is really the best part of the story. So I said hello and that I was going to bed. The rest of the conversation followed thusly:

Roommate: Look at my eyes. They are huge.

Me: Ummmm yes. Yes they are.

Roommate: We should do something.

Me: It is almost 5 am. I am going to sleep... you should consider doing this as well.

Roommate: No no. We should go for a walk or something. The sun is coming up.

Me: Um yes. But it is early and I have been up all night and its not been fun and I really need to sleep.

Roommate: NO. I don't think you understand. We need to go for a walk. The sun is coming up. WE HAVE TO STOP THE SUN.

Me: OOOOOOK. It is bedtime. For me and ABSOLUTELY for you.

... And that was my worst date ever.